Learning more about the British culture through my summer readings* has caused me to examine my own culture, namely the American culture. Even though I personally belong to smaller sub-cultures (progressive, minority, female, educated) than the dominant mainstream culture, there are some parts of American culture that I am looking forward to leaving behind. I completely understand that these are not unique to American culture and can probably be found in many other cultures, but I would argue that in America, these are at an extreme. And I realize these are not rampant in all parts of America nor does it apply to every American or person living in America. I also hope that I don’t offend anyone as these are just my opinions and observations, not based on or targeted at any one person but on my general surroundings during my many years spent in America.
1) “Me” obsessed: I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m a socialist, but I really do think doing what’s best for the community, society, greater good is usually more important than doing what is best for oneself. I see many examples of Americans being so focused on themselves that they forget to think about other people, especially people they don’t know. Additionally, there is this trend to evade blame and responsibility at all costs. What happened to taking responsibility for yourself? We are not perfect, we all make mistakes, so let’s also admit that we do that and everyone can rest easier knowing that it happens to everyone. For the most part, I don’t think any of us are that interesting or important to warrant being obsessed about ourselves. I think this obsession must start in childhood when we’re all told we’re special. We’re not. Let’s move on.
2) “Happiness” obsessed: I can’t remember the exact quote from The Sopranos but it essentially was an observation on how Americans are the only ones who think they deserve to be happy while everyone else in the rest of the world realize that life is rough and happiness is elusive. I wholeheartedly agree. Happiness is okay, but life is full of all sorts of emotions and experiences, so why are we obsessed with always being happy? There is something to be said for embracing the full experience of being sad or angry or completely ambivalent. Without the bad experiences, how can we fully appreciate the good ones?
However, if we want to argue that everyone deserves to be happy, then I think everyone can be happy but a lot of people don’t choose to be happy. Americans find all sorts of excuses to abandon rather than working to change one’s perspective so that happiness is possible. Abandoning seems easier somehow. I don’t think this is the same thing as being satisfied because you can certainly be dissatisfied with the status quo and want to improve things. But we get caught up in our “me” frenzy and think that our problems are the biggest in the world, and we don’t realize that it could be a lot worse. A daily reminder of how lucky we all are (and I would argue that we each can find a plethora of reasons to believe we are lucky) and how much we have in our lives might just do the trick. Don’t take anything for granted. For example, you’re lucky you can read! Hooray!
3) Excessive waste: That might seem like a redundant phrase, but I assure you, it is apropos. Despite a lot of efforts to live greener, there is still rampant waste everywhere that I look. It might be the fifty napkins that people grab for their meal or the excessive packaging on every product out there, but America wastes a lot. Office buildings leave their lights on all night. Reams of paper that are thrown in the trash and not recycled. Leaving the water running for no apparent reason at all. Money wasted on things we don’t need. Space used inefficiently. When I think about the food wasted on cruise ships, it makes me cry. I realize that it’s really hard to change certain behaviors and habits, especially without any tangible incentives. But somehow other countries seem to do it. My friend, D, tells me that in Jordan, not one drop of water is ever wasted. You know when you take a shower, you let the water run until it warms up before you hop in? In Jordan, that cold/lukewarm water doesn’t just run down the drain, it goes in a bucket that will later be used to wash dishes or water plants. I love that. I do admit that sometimes not wasting conflicts with other values. I am a tiny bit OCD and freaked out about germs and public spaces and walking asymmetrically. In a public restroom, how many sheets of poorly placed seat covers do I let fall down in the toilet before I give up and just sit on the seat? How many sheets into the toilet roll can I be sure isn’t touched by the person before me? Should I hold up the line for 10 minutes washing my hands until they are absolutely clean? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
Anybody left that I haven’t pissed off? After reading a lot of cultural psychology, I know that there are reasons why America became the way it is now and how having too much choice is part of the problem, too. I don’t know how I came up with these attitudes given that I’ve grown up here, but sometimes I feel so suffocated that I think I’m drowning in American ridiculousness. There are lots of reasons that I will be sad to leave the US, but I don’t want to post that up too early before we leave because then I might just cancel the move. I have no idea how much I will or will not encounter these things in Wales, but at the very least, leaving will surely give me a different perspective on American culture.
*Thanks to our book club for our recent lively discussion of Eat, Pray, Love that reminded me that I hold these minority opinions.
